the battle of el alamein. what i know about that, i learned from the letters they wrote later before the five of them were in hospital. they had a lot of time to write letters. they didn't talk too much how they dealt with fear. more they talked about the -- how hard it was to start losing men. it seemed to be the thing that impressed them and was difficult. it was something i think they could share. my uncle talked once about looking forward to going another moment he knew they were going to be encountering the enemy and how he thought about it and he used this really mundane sort of metaphor. he referred to a swimming hole he liked to women, i think it was 20-foot and wants to jump and also not wanting to jump. that's about as close as -- i have jack's journal that he kept all the way through his time in north africa, but it became very tellgraphic when he actually got in to combat. it was slept the night in a cave, nothing but a restless sliver. little things like that. you know, fierce fire, very not a lot of introspection then, i don't think. is that helpful. >> yeah. >> good. i'm sorry.